That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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