so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
