somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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