It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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