People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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