She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
