What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
