Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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