I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
