the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
