I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
