margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
