I CAN MOONWALK!
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
