i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
