Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
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You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
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You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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