I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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