Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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