he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
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