so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
