do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
