Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
