so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
