So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i came on her dog
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
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I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
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i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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