So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize