I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
