She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
