Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
