im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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