The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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