So drunk, too bad you don't want this
grandma shit on top of the toilet
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
