can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
if i died would you start the facebook group?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Randomize
