pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
