Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
