During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
