On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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