I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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