new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
