D3 body, D1 cock
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
