Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
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