working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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