We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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