so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
