too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
