Sponge bath it is.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
