Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
