I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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