I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i was born a porn star she said
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
