whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
