my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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