FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
