I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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