hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
