No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
