you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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