i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Come share oat with me in your robe
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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