You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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