Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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