Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm too high and old for this...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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