I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
