Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
