my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize